Starting therapy can feel strange before it’s even begun.
Moving from survival to growth
A lot of people know they need support but still aren’t quite sure what therapy is actually supposed to feel like.
You may have heard that CBT can feel cold or overly clinical. You may be worried you won’t know what to say, where to start, or whether therapy will even feel helpful.
In reality, good CBT should feel human, collaborative and supportive.
Every therapist works differently, so I thought it might be helpful to explain a little about how I work, what sessions with me tend to feel like, and what you can expect if we work together.
So, what actually is CBT?
CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
At its core, CBT helps us understand the relationship between our thoughts, emotions, behaviours and physical responses, and how certain cycles can sometimes keep us stuck.
Over time, we all develop ways of thinking and coping that make sense to us. Some of those habits and responses are helpful. Others may have worked at one point in life but no longer serve us in the same way.
CBT gives us space to explore those habits and responses in a more thoughtful way.
It’s not about pretending difficult things haven’t happened or being told to “just think positively”. It’s about understanding yourself more clearly and finding more helpful ways of responding moving forward, particularly during periods of anxiety, stress or low mood.
For me, CBT is practical, but it’s also thoughtful and reflective. It’s not just about worksheets or ticking boxes.
You do not need to arrive knowing exactly what to say
One of the biggest worries people have before starting therapy is:
Where do I even begin?
A lot of people worry they’ll say the wrong thing, cry too much, talk too much, or simply not know where to start.
You are not expected to arrive with everything neatly worked out.
Therapy with me is collaborative. We work alongside each other to make sense of things at a manageable pace.
While I bring psychological knowledge and therapeutic experience into the room, you are the expert in your own life and experiences. The sessions are ultimately your space, and part of my role is helping you explore things in a way that feels supportive, useful and manageable for you.
You won’t be left talking for an hour by yourself while I silently nod.
The first session is usually a little different to the sessions that follow. It’s a chance for me to get to know you on a deeper level and begin understanding what’s been troubling you, what responses or difficulties may be showing up, and what feels important to address together.
Structured, without feeling rigid
One of the biggest misconceptions about CBT is that sessions feel overly rigid or scripted.
While CBT is structured, I don’t believe therapy should feel like a checklist.
I do follow a loose session flow because it helps guide the work while creating a sense of safety and clarity within sessions.
We’ll usually start with a check-in about how the week has been and what feels most important that day. From there, we decide where the session needs to go.
Sometimes we continue building on previous work. Sometimes life happens between sessions and something else needs space first.
We then spend time exploring things more deeply before reviewing how the session has felt and thinking about what may help between sessions.
Some sessions may involve diagrams, brainstorming, psychoeducation or practical tools. Other sessions may involve sitting with something emotional that has never really been spoken about properly before.
I adapt my approach to the person in front of me rather than forcing everyone into the same process.
CBT can still go deep
Another misconception about CBT is that it only focuses on the present and avoids deeper emotional work.
In my experience, meaningful CBT often involves understanding where certain habits, beliefs or emotional responses may have come from in the first place.
For example, someone may come to therapy because they feel constantly anxious or overwhelmed. On the surface, the goal may simply be to feel calmer or more in control day to day. But underneath that, we may discover responses around self-pressure, perfectionism, responsibility, burnout, or beliefs they’ve carried for years about needing to cope alone.
We might explore what contributes to those responses, what keeps them going, and where they may have come from in the first place.
The work is still about moving forward, but that doesn’t mean we ignore the past if it feels important.
Therapy should feel supportive, but also honest
Sessions with me will hopefully feel calm, thoughtful and supportive.
Sometimes they may also feel emotional or challenging.
Growth often involves looking at habits or ways of coping that we’ve spent a long time avoiding or surviving through.
I intentionally try not to rush or overwhelm clients. Therapy is not about forcing change at speed.
At the same time, CBT is an active process. It helps if part of you feels ready for something to change, even if you don’t yet know exactly how.
You do not need to have everything figured out before starting therapy. You just need enough willingness to begin.
Feeling seen matters
Beyond any technique or strategy, one of the most important parts of therapy is feeling genuinely seen and understood.
A lot of people carry difficult experiences privately for years.
Therapy can become one of the first places where someone feels able to say things out loud without fear of judgement or needing to hold everything together.
Sometimes the most important part of therapy is simply the feeling that somebody finally understood what things have been like for you.
Final thoughts
CBT with me is not about becoming a completely different person.
It’s about understanding yourself more clearly, recognising patterns that may no longer be helping you, and feeling better equipped to move forward.
Therapy should feel collaborative, supportive and useful.
Most importantly, you do not have to figure it all out alone.
Meta description:
Thinking about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? Learn what therapy sessions with me are really like, including support for anxiety, overwhelm, low mood and unhelpful patterns.
